Just me, blabbling on and on about me

Sorry, I hav n't been coming here.
At the end of the summer.... I got some devastating news:
Friend found out he has cancer and has 6 months to live.
Another one was in a car accident and his right leg was amputated.

Took me sometime to accept all that and get on with my life...



Back to blogging Life....


Why is it so hard to believe that I do archery at my free time, can't I have healthy hobbies too?
Why pick on me when u do not believe something that other people say they do? What do you care what  I do anyway? Bastard.

I give up being nice and kind to them. I quit. What is the point anyway, I make an effort to be nice and kind to you and then you suddenly snapped and you walk all over me. Fine! Be nasty then, do what you like and I'll do what I like ------- to you too. But then I feel bad.

Haven't people got morals? Probably not the same level as I do. Am so fed up with the world (of adults) Although I am over 18 already... Ok, my parent's generation then... shit.. they really piss me off. Forget about being GOOD.

I snapped my tendon of my right pinky during Christmas, it's end is bent at an akward angle. It's now living in this itchy cast which is supposed to force it to straighten out. I am not too sure if it will be deformed for this day on, but the doctor did tell me not to take the cast off at any time, and never to move or bend the finger.. .. a bit tricky when I am asleep, and the bloody cast slips off everynight, and I stratched my back/neck/ all over not-knowingly... and snapped! Woken up by Sharp pain.... I wonder how the pinky is (if ever) going to heal itself.

I know you all must me asking how I did it? --- Not going to make up anything fancy or heroic, the truth... drying myself with a very large heavy wet towel. And it just snapped. Didn't feel a thing at the time, maybe just some numbness, 20 minutes later, it had no feeling, and i was not able to bend it back. I tried snapping it back --- I know... STUPID. Probably tore more off.
Then, I thought, do I go to ER now? or will it snap back to it's normal position in the morning?
Looked up on the internet and it's called mellet finger. Went to the ER in HK, which was completely useless. The doc on duty did not even do a Xray, he told me to go home and get some sleep. No cream, no pain killers, no cast, no case, no X-ray?????? Give me a pck of antibiotics instead, how wacky is that??? Went home with antibiotics, chucked it to one side and went to bad. WOKE up with SHARP pain the next morning which is Christmas morning!!! SHit..
and mom rushed me to the hospital again, demanded to see a proper doc/ a specialist... Mad mama was waving her credit card and yelling at the nurses... "If my daughter's finger is deformed becasue of your hospital's misconduct!!! You can be sure that I will take your establishment and your ER irresponsible doc to ground zero... .. if my daughter can't play the piano in the future, I will hold you all responsible, I WANT TO SEE A SPECIALIST, and I want to see him NOW."

There was no one at the waiting room so it was not too embarrassing, and I got to jump the queue to see the specialist....
Anyway.. that was what happened, now I am letting you in on the fact that loosing the function of your pinky is really inconvenient. I have serious trouble signing bills, writing, scratching, masturbating, packing, cooking, cutting, spreading "stuffs" on bread with knife, taking a shower (must not get finger wet). The doc told me not to wash my had, but use those antiseptic gel instead, I thought I heard him wrong, especially after SARS (epidemic explosion in HK awhile ago). I cannot not wash hands. In fact, I must wash my hands many times a day.

It has to stay in a cast for 12 weeks. Many more itchy days to go.

It is not that I do not love her anymore, actually we still love each other, but moving in together means a restriction to my freedom, needing to become responsible with another being. I am not willing to share my whole and everyday life with anyone just yet. Come on... having her SMS on my phone all day all the time renders me to a near panic attack when I turn my phone on to see I have 28 missed calls (all from her) and 28 SMSes... bloody hell. Leave me some room to breathe, for F%£K sake! Now, she is bombarding me with "We should really go look for flats this weekend, if we still want to move in together." I have never said yes to that, but I have never said no either. I tried to tell her that I think it's not such a good idea, as my family already have this big house right here in London, and Michelle is moving to America next year, leaving one room spare. Like she is welcome to move in as long as I get permission from my parents; but this seems like a bad idea to her, she wanted to be with me ONLY. Too many ppl in and out of the house all the time, and that she thinks our house-keeper is a threat to our relationship - no privacy. House-keeper does not even live in the house, she has her own cottage at the back... what level of  privacy does she need? Oh, if she goes on like this, I think I'd rather be single.

I normally do not eat candy, I eat sweets, chips are crisps and french fries are chips, ice-lollies are for fairies and popsicles are icicles, a fanta is a soda and softdrinks are hard....  The candy varieties are a wander and pharmacies are drugstores! I spent 2 hours just roaming the aisles of a drugstore... everything comes in large sizes and so does the ppl. America is a wonderlad for me.

I normally do not eat candy, I eat sweets, chips are crisps and french fries are chips, ice-lollies are for fairies and popsicles are icicles, a fanta is a soda and softdrinks are hard....  The candy varieties are a wander and pharmacies are drugstores! I spent 2 hours just roaming the aisles of a drugstore... everything comes in large sizes and so does the ppl. America is a wonderlad for me.

She borrowed my handbag 3 weeks ago and I never saw it again. I nearly forgot I had such a nice bag, and only remembered while looking through photos. So I went looking for it, turned my room upside down and then I remembered she still has it. Went to her room to asked for it, and she gave me "the annoyed look". She came up with an amazing theory, : "How come you never ask for it back? And now you are trying to make me feel guilty???"
At that moment, I imagined myself strangling her with my bare hands.